Contributed by: Michelle L. Asuncion - Mabalod
I fear we are spoiling our kids very early. When 6-month-old baby girl “Candy” throws a fit, we laugh with glee and call it cute. In her young mind, she has this vague idea that her fit was cute indeed. She sure wants to repeat it. When she becomes a year old, she learns to throw a fit with strong kicks to match her cries. Her parents pick her up and begin to wonder why she is no longer cute. If such happened in public, mommy is embarrassed and may scold her, but with a little guilt. If the fit is done with no one looking, mommy ignores it.
At two years old, Candy’s fit becomes more violent. She screams, jumps and throws things. Ever since she was a 6-month-old she has been conditioned that it is a normal behavior that must not be punished. She throws fits especially in public because she knows mommy will not make a scene with people around and would simply pick her up with lollipop in hand to reward her to silence.
At three, Candy is incorrigibly set in her tantrums. She begins to sense, though, that not many people are fond of her anymore. She begins to see them avoiding her. In her 3 years of self-centeredness, she begins to feel unnoticed. Mother and father seem no longer amused with what she thought were cute antics. She loses playmates. She hates them all for hating her. She hates herself for being hateful. Left uncorrected, she will grow up not feeling worthy of love and not truly loving others in return.
It is when you graphically picture this gruesome effect of spoiling your child that you will begin to be a good, sensible parent. Not the soft, smothering kind who produces shrieking, spoiled brats but the loving yet firm parent who brings up children who behave in ways that others love and respect. These children are loved, and love in return. The world smiles at these kids and smile back.
